Balance

August 10, 2025

While others may go to church of a Sunday morning, I go to a certain back porch of a certain store that’s very dear to me. Maybe you know it. They serve coffee.

Being there is a rite in itself: greet the cashier; grab my favorite mug from its peg (actually, it’s my second favorite after one that broke and is no longer in use); select and pour the coffee; add cream and cinnamon; and march back outside whence I came. What I do next varies based on the weather, the projects on my agenda, the books I’m reading, and the fellow-citizens who might be there. The important part is that I made a choice to leave my house and go be present somewhere.

Recently, four of us Sunday regulars were forced indoors by the oppressive July heat. The air-conditioned cafe area was packed, so we all shared one table: an island of celebrants in a sea of visitors who were making pilgrimages of their own.

Chores are another kind of ritual. At the beginning of each weekend, I often find myself doing laundry or cleaning the house. Rather than feel embarrassed about staying in, I try to be grateful that I have free time at the end of the week to set my ship in order. Manual, meditative tasks help change the focus from abstract stress to what’s right in front of me.

This morning, a neighbor reminded me that when the world’s troubles close in, we should think about what changes we can make right then and there. Indeed, some of the darkest moods I’ve experienced in recent memory have been dispelled when I left my house to go to the laundromat – as if the act of getting up and driving caused those feelings to be left behind.

Although I use the term “ritual”, there’s no mystery to it. Ironically, these regular commitments are what keep me from getting stuck in a rut. They distract me from internal and external unease, even if it’s not a permanent fix. I can look at other scenery and spend time in the presence of other people. I can drink coffee that someone else made. Maybe I can answer a few personal emails. Sometimes, I get clean clothes out of the bargain.