April 25, 2020
In “things I should be doing” news, today would have been the annual Ice Age Trail conference. What have I done today? Not much. I have a daily routine, but it’s nothing profound — and even that falls by the wayside sometimes. As an illustration, the highlight of my day was making and drinking a particularly good cup of coffee.
Whether overcaffeinated, overtired, or both, I’ve fallen short of the meager goals I set for myself today. I did get to enjoy reading some letters, responses to the flood of cards I’ve sent out. One was from the friend who would have attended that conference with me. More than anything else lately, these letters are weapons against the darkest parts of social isolation. They’re a tangible reminder that I have people out there who care for me.
Besides the letters and my blog, I haven’t put much creative work out into the world since all this started. I’m not getting much out of it, either: I haven’t taken advantage of the wealth of free online concerts, lessons, and so forth. I am simply existing. I can’t give a reason or tell if this is the right approach to these strange times. But it’s my approach, at least for now.
What I’m trying to say is that, if the world ever gets back on course, I hope I don’t look back on this era with disappointment. It may be that I accomplish something extraordinary between now and May 26. If so, I’ll be pleased. But I hope I can avoid kicking myself for not doing more. (Admittedly, I scored in the 27th percentile for “industriousness” in a personality test earlier this year.)
Maybe I sorely needed this time to relax, to reëvaluate, and to just be myself. After all, doing isn’t always the point.